i’m a lonely person.
always have been.
It sucks. It really does. This whole life thing…it sucks. Someone would probably state that it’s all about the eye of the beholder and perspective and all that jazz. I acknowledge the good intentions, but it just so happens that in my viewpoint of life right now…it all sucks…
Well..at least when I’m alone…
I have good people in my life, I’m not starving, I have clean water, and I have a roof over my head. I have hobbies, interests, passions, etc…so then why does this all seem to just suck so bad?
Maybe it’s just that I let the sucky things about life get to me. I mean, it’s not like I’ve given up on life completely or anything…but life just sucks.
Life, although what can be a warm companion, can also be cold dark, hopeless, scary, and turn out horribly unexpected…
Oh believe me, there’s so much potential for things to suck just a little less…but then something so small and insignificant can deter that potential and have that thought pushed back in to the further depths of my mind. Basically it’s like I’ve taken two steps forward and one step back all along my way thus far.
Just another wonderfully morbid and pessimistic view on my current situation…
I hope to the higher power that my younger siblings never end up like me…
I woke up choking on what tasted like bile and bad dreams in the middle of last night. I woke up coughing and rushed to the bathroom to spit out the contents, but as I kept spitting and forcing the matter to collect by coughing, my throat became rough. I spat and I saw phlegm mixed with a dark red color. I coughed and my lungs began hurting, I coughed again, and again, and then I spit and spit again…and all I saw was red….
coughed out blood last night.
A man that’s been rich all his life has no idea the suffering of the poor even if he’s witnessed it.
A strong man knows not the trials of the weak.
And a man that is only happy can’t reflect on those which are at their lows around them.
They write them off as lazy or things similar.
You’ll be a better friend, lover, and mentor through trials and tribulations…"
- a friend.